How worth is investing in people ?
This same question has haunted me everytime someone I trusted did not meet some expectation of mine.
Experience says that in relationships, 'Reverse psychology' almost always seems to work. If you like someone, and go out of your way to do good to them, that someone invariably takes you for granted. Even you yourself sometimes fail to respond to people with same affinity that they show towards you.
People are normally good in doing their jobs, its an exercise they tend to master with time. But when it comes to personal relationships, how many know exactly what to want/expect and what not to want/expect. There is confusion, you can only try to see through someone's mind and make an intelligent guess of they want/expect and act accordingly. Worse, many a times, you don't even know what you yourself want. Mothers seem to do a fairly good job in seeing through their kids. Movies say they just know, somehow. how ?
Commercial enterprises almost equivocally tout, "We invest in people and investing in people pays".
"Pays"... yeah... if its $$$$, then it should also... makes sense... Plus there is a well-established giver-taker relationship, people do some kind of a service to the company and the company pays them back. And the result of this is a clear distinction of terms called 'Personal Life' and 'Professional Life'. Everyone who has worked sometime in his/her life will agree with me on this distinction. Can something that works in Professional life also work in Personal life ?
Now thats some thought... will someone invest emotions in you if you pay them to ?
At the face of it, I don't think so... they have a whole ad put up on this theme, saying, "There are some things money can't buy... (I 'll skip over the rest of the tagline coz even Mastercard won't work here)".
But then this math/physics (almost) always is at work. Money has power to influence almost everthing...
I ll cite one example - In marriages, the first question that has to be satisfactorily answered to girl's family is 'How much money does the guy make ?'
The 'deal' starts from here. That is the single most important factor that will influence who you spend your lives with... and what future you imagine for yourself.
But I didn't had to cite justifying the 'importance of money'. Com'on who does not know that !
Lets take this thought somewhere else...
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts..."
-William Shakespeare
Now that is some thought. Kids play cute, adults play, well, adults, old people play maturity and nostalgia, friends play friends, two people in love play lovers, parents play parents, teachers play teachers, students play students, departed friends on re-union invariably play nostalgia and 'how we used to blah, blah..', and there is a definite over-lap of these roles that people play ( everyone plays love, jealousy, fear, ego on an unending drive to some form of success )... as Shakespeare observed.
But even this sort-of-well-defined-roles do not help relationships much. People are still confused, they still wanna keep searching for something that they don't already have, and once they have it, they start searching for something else. They say that one should aim for a goal and keep working for it. I don't think there is and can ever be 'a' goal. Its a very dynamic phenomena, it changes every now and then, people's priorities change, always... btw... my priority now is to study... and I ain't doing that... perhaps I should get back to it... and leave this thought open... maybe somewhere down the line I figure out what ticks people and their relationships and whether it is worth investing in people ? Do you even have a choice ?
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Aah... saved this, published it but I still am on this. Just found out that even Shakespeare agrees with me on 'a goal'.
"Ambition should be made of sterner stuff" - William Shakespeare
really nice post! but right after the first sentence, i had an answer. :)
ReplyDeleteit isn't.
i think, you shouldn't expect anything from anybody except yourself. but even that fails you sometimes. ha, disappointment being a part of life and all. i guess expecting less would lead you to minimize that degree of disappointment.
but if you don't expect anything, even from yourself, then that would lead to not having any goals. which leads into your next point. but all the goals you talk about are OUTSIDE of one. i think the ultimate goal a person should have is to invest in oneself and figure out how to fulfill those expectations that they have of themselves. then it won't be so dynamic.
its stagnant, within yourself, and what is that one goal? to find out what will keep you truly happy. not materialistic things, not other people, but something within you...
i guess that's what most people have trouble with. finding that one thing themselves, hence they rely on others and 'invest' as you call it on other people and expect from others, and end up questioning something that hasn't been reciprocated.
haha, well that was a long answer, but your posts have good insight to them. and I tend to come up with lengthy responses for them! lol. definitely keep writing such things! :)
Thanks for thoughtful answer and encouraging comments.
ReplyDeleteI want to take your suggestion, but it seems practical and impractical at the same time.
Practical, coz I feel it may work very well.
Impractical, coz it seems like we are bypassing the question, taking the last resort, which is to keep things to yourself.
You know, even Ayn Rand in her philosophy sort of says what you have said.